All I want to do is write and share my stories with you. Lately, I've read a lot of authors talking about publishing their serialized stories here. It’s a great opportunity to share stories and get feedback from readers. Also, I haven’t seen comic writers post their comic scripts as serialized stories. That changes today!
Check out the first two pages of Daddy’s Vengeful Little Girl! After you read it, please share your thoughts in the comments. Thanks!
Daddy's Vengeful Little Girl
Written by Phil Butehorn
**Note to the artist: we never see the adults' faces. We see them from their legs down or just their backs. Kind of like what they do with the adults from The Peanuts and Lincoln Loud’s parents from Loud House S1.**
Page 1 - 7 Panels
Page 1: View from behind our characters. It's the middle of the day. Daddy and Julie are walking to a playground that’s in the background.
Julie (caption): My daddy is better than yours.
Panel 2: Close-up of the playground. Lying under the playground’s bridge are two teenage girls. They are laughing together and up to no good.
Julie (caption): He takes me to get ice cream, makes me laugh, and plays with me at the playground.
Teenage Girls: HAHAHA!
Panel 3: The two girls lying on their backs under the bridge. One of them is in mid-throw of a paper snapper
Teenage 1: Oops!
Teenage girls: HAHAHA!!
Panel 4: It explodes at the dad’s feet. The girls are laughing off-panel.
SFX: POP
Girls (off-panel): HAHAHA
Panel 5: More paper snappers were thrown around Julie’s dad. He’s jumping in the air after what happened in the prior panel. The teenagers are still under the playground bridge laughing.
SFX: POP POP POP POP
Teenage girls: HAHAHA!
Julie: Daddy! Are you ok?
Panel 6: Dad and daughter are now walking off the playground. The daughter is upset. She’s kicking the air and her head is down.
Dad: Julie, we’re leaving now!
Julie: But Daddy, we just got here!
Panel 7: The daughter does a double-take of the girls laughing under the bridge and she looks pissed.
Julie: Daddy, why are people mean?
Dad (off-panel): Sometimes people suck and all they want to do is deflate our fun days.
Panel 2 - 5 Panels
Panel 1: It's now nighttime and we are in Julie’s room. The bedroom lights are still on. View from dad while sitting on Julie’s bed and she is tucked in bed.
Dad: Good night, sweetie.
Julie: I’m so sorry about those mean girls.
Dad: You don't need to worry about me. My job is to worry about you.
Panel 2: View from Julie’s bed headboard. The room’s light is off and her dad is exiting the door into the hallway.
Dad: I love you!
Panel 3: Bird’s eye view of Julie in bed and she is pretending to sleep.
NO COPY
Panel 4: Same description as Panel 3, but now Julie’s eyes are wide open.
NO COPY
Panel 5: Julie is sneaking out of her room and crawling through the window.
NO COPY
Next week: Daddy's Vengeful Little Girl pages 3-4